Brave.

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7. (emphasis mine)

We are post #4 in this series of blogging.  My posts have been intermittent and quiet reluctantly written.  It is hard to be vulnerable.  Hard to peel back the layers that so safely protect us from what has the potential to ruin us, to wound our hearts and destroy our reputation.  Soul searching throughout this season has revealed to me the root cause, a wound carefully placed in the innermost corner of my heart for no one to find.  The reality of things in hiding however is that the maintenance of keeping something hidden is challenging.

I think that in the midst of soul searching and finding the root of it all, I have realized something greater.  2 Timothy talks about the spirit that is inside us as believers. Tonight I had the privilege of being prayed over, empowered and reminded of God's promise to His children. I was affirmed that the parts of me that I see as broken fragments are in fact whole. 

So now upon receiving this truth, I am left with two options.  Option 1: I play the woe-is-me fiddle and sob at a sad story that happened once some long time ago or Option 2: I believe the promises of God, let him remind me of the kind of spirit that lives inside of me, and experience restoration.  I think I'll take the later. The chains are there, threatening to bind me and prohibit me from God's kingdom work but the Spirit inside of me is calling me to be courageous. The story that I have is mine.  The heartache and trauma is written but it will not define who I get to be and how the Creator plans to use me.  I. will. be. BRAVE.

"Restoration is more than mending broken hearts and bringing closure to sad chapters in life; it is God refusing to let us remain spiritually sick, reviving our hearts and redeploying his children to go back into constructive service for him." -unknown