Thursday, April 17, 2014

Scales are for fish.

Raise your hand if you have a scale in your bathroom at home.  (Of course I can't see if you are raising it, but I appreciate your participation in my game anyways...). I think the presence of a scale in a bathroom is pretty standard nowadays.  We all get up in the morning, step on the scale and watch to see our fate.  Did the scale catch the extra slice of pizza we ate yesterday?  Did it catch the extra hour at the gym? Wait... surely that must be water weight, the scale can't be right today.  We have all expressed these thoughts as we step on the scale.
Scales are a measurement tool.  Scales are also terrifying.  It can dictate many things if you let it: your self-worth, your will power, your attitude for the day, your confidence, your mood. 
On the flip side, scales do serve a purpose. Scales keep us in check.  When we are on an extreme of over-indulgence, it reminds us of our excessive habits.  Scales help us when we are pregnant to ensure healthy growth of the little human growing inside of us. When we are trying to lose weight it allows us to do so safely by making sure the weight loss will maintain.  For many, unfortunately, scales have more negative effects than purpose.  Consumed so much by the numbers, scales trap people within two or three digits. To someone with an eating disorder, scales can be crippling.  To someone with an eating disorder, no matter the number, that amount is too much. There is no way to release the power the scale has until you step off of it.  For good.
As I am on my journey to recovery, I want so badly to step on a scale and let it prove that it was a bad idea for me to stop my toxic habits.  With each meal that I eat, I want to hop on the scale, show the number to everyone and go back to my old ways.  I am eating too many calories, I argue to myself.  The calories are sticky.  My body absorbs them like a sponge, forever glued to my stomach.  I am in some distorted way convinced that I am expanding with every bite.  I secretly wish to have not entered recovery until after my goal weight.  Lose 20 more pounds and then I'll hop on the recovery train.
But here I stop.  I know from the inmost parts of my being that this path is destructive.  While still trapped by a number on a scale and an image in my head, I know that freedom WILL indeed come.  It will involve scales, but not the scale telling me a number that defines how I get to feel about myself. I must stay off of those.  Rather I will have the scales removed from my eyes, the scales that have blinded me from seeing the beautiful handiwork of God that stares at me from the mirror.  The scales that have caused me to forget that I am an image bearer of God and I have been created to carry His image exactly in the way he designed all of me to bear, with my body, mind and soul. 

Lose the scales from our bathrooms, from our eyes.

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

1 comment:

  1. Funny that even though we have a scale in the bathroom, neither me nor wifey steps on it.

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